| Jun 1, 2008 |
| hiding |
i should probably make this clear,
i am not anorexic
gasp, yeah i know.
but to be anorexic as the medical journals define it, you actually have to be underweight, and sadly, my BMI just doesnt cut it yet.
nor am i bulimic
i used to be, but i just hate throwing up, its messy and takes too much effort to hide. plus i know what it does to your teeth. they keep telling us in dental lectures!
i only do it when i m desperate desperate.
it just occurred to me this morning when i got up
that i m very busy hidng a lot of things from everyone.
my past, my social habits, my thoughts and now my eating style
on the one hand, i dont think anyone suspects because i voraciously spill out other mundane details of my life to compensate. and so that means i am successful at hiding things!
but on the other, its kinda lonely when no one knows the real you.
i guess as T said, its like having a safe in your head you slowly fill up.
its kinda sad -which was the epiphany i reached- but i wouldnt have it any other way.
i really dont want people forcing me to eat, and then leaving me by myself to deal with the fact that - dammit i just ate a WHOLE STEAK etc- and the resultant guilt and consequences. i am the one having to deal with it, not you, have you thought about that?!!
i guess the bottom line is, i trust my friends to be there for me, whether or not i can fully share all of myself. just hope they never find out and this issue never arises!
i have a good plan today to skip meals so i can fast.
parents arent home, so later i will go downstairs and dirty a plate with mom's cooking and leave it in the sink
that way, i can tell the parentals i already ate when they return!
brilliance!
haha
is anyone out there trying to hide it from parents and friends too? we need to share ideas, creativity is needed! |
posted by aphoony @ 10:11 AM  |
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| 2 Comments: |
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I'm trying too hide it from my parents too. I regularly don't clean my pans that I cook on and dishes that I've eaten from. I haven't been eating with my family for many months now already cause I went vegan last year and our food choices don't match up. Being vegan really helps cause it has its health benefits, plus sort of disconnects me from their disgusting foods.
I used to have no secrets in life, cause I was too open of a person, always too trusting in people. It got me hurt, and now I like the fact that I have a few secrets no one else (hopefully!) knows about.
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1 simple way to hide - don't. Seriously i no it sounds stupid bt i just dnt bother to hide it anymore. When i was they got so suspicious so i stopped. Now if they ask i just say i'm not hungry, i dnt bother saying that i already ate coz that just means i have to lie. The good thing i suppose is that my family are so stupid so i only have to cum up with a realy lame excuse to get away with it.
ps i love the whole red bracelet idea by the way xx
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This is a diary of my attempt at weight loss. I want to show that I am normal and happy with standard hobbies like shopping and partying. I could have an eating disorder, but it's not a problem. Its a lifestyle choice i am comfortable with. =) |
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I'm trying too hide it from my parents too. I regularly don't clean my pans that I cook on and dishes that I've eaten from. I haven't been eating with my family for many months now already cause I went vegan last year and our food choices don't match up. Being vegan really helps cause it has its health benefits, plus sort of disconnects me from their disgusting foods.
I used to have no secrets in life, cause I was too open of a person, always too trusting in people. It got me hurt, and now I like the fact that I have a few secrets no one else (hopefully!) knows about.