| Jun 23, 2008 |
| in a nutshell |
i was thinking of putting my weight loss journey into a post
what i ve learnt and realised,condensed down into a paragraph
i used to be okay with who i was, confident even arrogant
but since putting on weight, it was like i faded from everybody's eyes and started blending in with the wallpaper
before when my friends told me to lose weight, i was like 'take me as who i am!'
but over time, i ve come to realise, its a superficial world
inner beauty really doesnt measure up to outer beauty.
then after several binge diets, came an intense one
i ve lost about 11 kilos to date
i want to lose another 17
i havent eaten out for months because i m worried i ll lose control
but i eat at home, especially when mom cooks
sometimes i binge and purge
sometimes i feel so guilty and disgusted with myself i dont know what to do
sometimes i m so happy with the weight loss i want to tell everyone
my weight loss now has slowed dramatically
my period has become irregular and infrequent
i ve started using laxatives
i calculate my bmi at least once a day
and i do feel superior to fatties
i just want to reach my goal weight, its all i really want right now.
because i know when i do,
i ll be perfect
things to know
1. If you dont already have an ED, dont try to get one. its ridiculous.
2. if you do, support is always available
3. dont make my mistake and have people start noticing the weight loss/lack of eating
secrecy is very important, and its a drag when people nag at you to eat
4. have a goal weight
5. excercise so you build muscle
6. visit other pro ana/mia sites when you feel yourself slipping
7. look for and keep thinspirations to motivate you
8. make a list of why you want to be thin and look at it frequently |
posted by aphoony @ 5:10 PM  |
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This is a diary of my attempt at weight loss. I want to show that I am normal and happy with standard hobbies like shopping and partying. I could have an eating disorder, but it's not a problem. Its a lifestyle choice i am comfortable with. =) |
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